I have people come and try to sell me things all the time.
Since you're advertising to me, I reserve the right to be particular about how you do so.
If you don't like that, feel free to join an advertisement agency. I've set up a pipeline for you.

If you do not follow this process, I will ignore you or purposefully waste your time. I am immensely petty. It's not hard.

The Process

To advertise your services to me, send an email to ads@uenluom.com. Your email should contain the following information:

Do not:

Send me this information by any other means than the email above.
Send an email that does not have the entire above list of information.
Request a read receipt. (You can request a delivery receipt)
Send a message over 35 MiB in size.
(keep in mind email attachments are stored as Base64, so it gets 33% larger when sent).
Send a message with a Reply To address not matching your Sent From address. For all normal emails, this is not a problem.
Send an email containing any link to any website. This includes embedding remote images.
Send an email not containing any attachments (unless the service you are advertising does not require an attachment, such as writing).
Send an email that is too long and I don't feel like reading it.
Send a follow-up email.
Send an email from an email address doesn't look like a real email address (I'm not even opening a message from cawenuio8aewouifh@gmail.com, but if your email is like jakepaul@gmail.com I'll read it)
Send an email with a shouty or useless subject line.

In Other Words

This section is a rehash of the above lists. If you already understood what they meant, you don't need to read this section.

Your Email's Subject

I want to know what you are offering by reading the subject of the email alone. That way, if I need art, for example, I can just skim through my messages and look for 'art' or 'illustration'. I also want you to include your price because if it's a throwaway joke image, I'm not going to pay $100 for it.

To that end, I want you to include your price point and service type in the subject of the email. Here is an example of a good subject line:

[$15-45] Profile Picture Illustration

This subject line is very easy to understand and gets straight to the point, so it is a good subject line. Let's take a look at an example of a bad subject line:

I want to do art for you!

This subject line does give the general sense of what you do, but doesn't include pricing (so I actually have to read it, so if I'm searching for services I will ignore you), and isn't super specific (do you do profile picture art? Promo art?).

Multiple Services in the Subject

Let's say that you do many types of services. Put your top 3 services in the subject line. If you do more, add a + at the end.

Art: [$25] Profile Picture, [$50] Promo Art, [$100] Wallpaper, +

Do not just write 'various' in the subject line.

Your Email's Text Content

This is where you can write a lot more information about your service offering. You should include any information I need to provide you in order to set up an order. You should include the payment mode (upfront 100%? 50/50?), and where I can pay you (PayPal? VGen? Fiverr?). You MUST tell me if you use AI in your workflow. If you lie, I will dispute your charge.

Here's an example of a good email content.

Hello! I'm Jeremy Lastname and I do music commissions! I charge $25 for 2 minutes and $10 for each extra minute. I can do songs with electric guitars, kalimba, flute, and if you need something else, I can probably make it happen. I do not use AI in any of my work.

I typically do a 100% upfront payment model. I take payments via PayPal and by VGen at @JeremyLastnameTheGreatestMusicManFromFNAFWannabe. All I'll need from you is how long you want the song to be, what instruments you'd like to use (or I can choose), and what feel you're going for.

Here are some of the songs I've made in the past: (file attachments)

This is concise and contains all the information I need to both decide if the service is right for me, and it isn't overly long. It also includes pricing and payment information.

And here's a bad email:

Hello, I'm Jimmy Firstname and I do art. I will work to your budget and specifications, please reply and we can get started. Here is some of my portfolio: (file attachments)